and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
