I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
