I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
how does that bad decision feel?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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