it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
