your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
