Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
