oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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