a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
