you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
