She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize