So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
