12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
