He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
