garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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