i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
