you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
