I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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