1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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