I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
