do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
