btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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