Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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