he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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