I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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