people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
