I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
