Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
