you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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