I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
