YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
