my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
