Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
