Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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