According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
