I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
