everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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