oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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