i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
