the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
