This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
