i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
