I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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