No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i permit you to call me
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
