I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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