I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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