I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
