i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
