Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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