nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
