If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
