So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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