I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
