we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
